Saturday, October 10, 2009

My longest sabbatical yet

Hello everyone... seems people have been looking at my leavings even when I wasn't, prompting me back to the director's seat for another episode... Sorry about the little vacation I took; I assure you that although it was a blogging vacation my time was full of other death-defying challenges so I didn't get lazy (quite).
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So, to bring you up to speed, in the past year the smurfs have exceeded the racial average of three apples tall... The elder smurf is mostly toilet trained and dresses himself with minimal assistance, the younger smurf has been pushing the toilet training but is still a creature of diaperial habit. However she has been learning to fix herself snacks- and can pour herself a drink of milk or butter a slice of bread with a modicum of supervision and mess. Both have been talking much more; the elder using sentences in excess of four words when in the right mood, and two words together whenever he likes. The younger is still using single and double words, but can recite the alphabet or the numbers up to 30.
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I am still single but no longer chronically; I get out upon occasion with persons of the female persuasion despite the efforts of the Neighbour Lady, perhaps once a month or so... I still telecommunicate on a pretty regular basis with my P.A.L., who has recently shed her female companion to some extent or other and is therefore in more or less the same scenario as I... with a similar Neighbour Lady (P.A.N.L. for short)... perhaps we can work out an exit strategy we can share with anyone who happens to find themselves in the Middle East.
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Recently had another battle with the Cable Company; not sure why they insist on these regular duels on bridges over lava (oops, magma)... but perhaps instead of vanquishing them in this method I should buy some form of repellant. Speaking of evil cable company schemes, you have probably heard of the recent bid by the CRTC and the cable companies to raise tax money for the purpose of supporting local TV despite the fact that they already squander a similar levy... Of course when I give someone money for a specific purpose and they squander it on buying themselves a new stereo, my solution is to immediately give them more money... we can trust them with this one, folks... (ahem)... Of course this has nothing to do with the fact the TV system has been switching over to digital... analog antennas being the most obvious competition for local TV, now that that is more or less eliminated they have time on their hands they need spending money for.
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Speaking of evil idiots, Dalton McGuinty has fallen in line with the tradition of Jean Cretien by losing a billion dollars on a pointless and incomplete project strangely remeniscent of the HRDC "What's a billion" era and their big-brother computer. Apparently Ontario has been working on a province-wide OHIP database which will contain all of our medical information... to construct this they handed out a billion worth of untendered and unsupervised contracts to various parties with no effective obligations attached to it, and assumed that a functioning system would magically result. Of course handing our our private information to hundreds of people without that level of supervision couldn't possibly be a bad thing, especially seeing as how we all will still have trouble accessing out own health records but captains of industry have their own copies now available for a light read on the toilet if they wish. Let's hope they occasionally supervise their employees with our information, Weiner Boy won't do it.
Of course the thing to remember here is that whatever happens, however this stuff is misused or lost, it isn't McGuinty's fault. That's why Joe Voter should keep him on deck for re-election- throwing our money and private information out to whoever feels like having it is much better than allowing anyone to build a Muslim school. Ahem.
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Well that's a fairly solid recap after nearly a year on hold... I'll try to keep up a somewhat faster rate of posting in the impending future... Ciao for now, The Abstruse and Loquacious Lexiphage. :)

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Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Child Processing Plants

Good evening, fellow... er... fellows...
Okay, that was a weak start.
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Have you ever noticed you can't get your loose change looking like new?
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No... that sucks...
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A long time a go, in a galaxy far, f- oh, yeah. That's taken.
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Hi.
That's better.
At long last, the Lexiphage has crawled up out of the primordial ooze to regale all of you with his rich, creamy wisdom and sweet, crunchy humour. You may breathe a sigh of collective relief.
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Down to business:
McGuinty is up to his old tricks again with his goofy plan for all-day kindergarten. The following flaws immediately began to flop around on my floor upon my perusal of his manifesto:
1) As is traditional these days, the $500 million the plan will cost is delayed considerably, however, McGuinty expects the accolades and respect today.
2) McGuinty and his cronies are fully aware that the $200 million allocated for the first year will not be enough to properly implement the program, the $300 million may or may not be enough to finish it up prior to the next election, and the guy who is supposed to organize it for Weiner Boy is being paid an 'undisclosed amount'... Hmmm.... I'll give 'em the benefit of the doubt and assume the guy isn't taking the whole half-billion himself to blow on cocaine and expensive cuff links.
3) The first year of the program will be the second last year of McGuinty's mandate, which as mentioned above is acknowledged as not being workable; the second year of the program will be in full swing as the election begins, ensuring that we will not have any statistics as to how well the program is working, assuming it works at all... if the project is entirely screwed up so monumentally that we need no statistics to notice, McGuinty can say "Well, the program is only just starting... no one could organize it this fast...", but if it seems to be working well, then it'll be because they organized it so fast. If they get re-elected, they have another four years to slack off, so it doesn't matter if it works well or not. If they do not get re-elected, then the stats for how they screwed up won't come out until the next government is in power, and Weiner Boy can point the finger at them for screwing up his bright idea.
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It warms my heart to know that our children, as soon as they begin their immensely valuable education to shape the world of tomorrow, will have their welfares entirely ignored in favour of extending the career of an incompetent boob.
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It is interesting to note that through the whole recent election, McGuinty was chanting hippie love slogans about togetherness for our kids, and how dividing our children by religion was evil. Now, scant months later, Toronto is apparently getting a black-only school. Jewish school bad, black school good. Interesting...
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On the home front, despite McGuinty's best efforts the Smurfs are doing well, the Elder Smurf's IBI therapy seems to be cranking up the thinkometer well, and the Younger Smurf is using many short phrases and single words since she got into Autistic Junior Kindergarten... The Neighbour Lady is still lurking in the background somewhere, and the Insane Ex is busily weaving baskets with her toes due to the interference of the straightjacket.
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Lastly, the Lair is once again online, and the Lexiphage is at large and in charge therein; I have a lot of mischeif and complaining to make up for during my sabbatical, but luckily the Hydro Thugs and Men in Black seem reluctant to reveal their machinations on my home turf... Rogers had a great deal to say regarding my cyber-resurrection, and I was forced into many golden handshakes and shady deals to win them over. Even still, my cell phone and internet accounts apparently may not be amalgamated without me duelling the regional manager to the death on a narrow bridge over a pit of lava, so I have to make sure I have an EMP device to interfere with the video cameras and hob-nails in my boots. Two men enter, one man leaves should be evidence enough... also, I should sharpen my epee and hook my homemade stungun into a tin breastplate in case he gets a lucky hit.
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Lots to do, and little time, so I'll see you later and keep you informed.
Asta la vista,
The Vituperative Lexiphage.

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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

A Lexipharious Primer

Hello again everyone. Well, it has been a while since I began blogging, and I figured to start off this edition I would fill in those who are just joining us... I have to do something to fill up this space.
Cast of characters on Lair of the Lexiphage:
The Lexiphage: that's me. Imagine that! If you want to know more get off your lazy butt and read my profile. I change it every once in a while just to keep the Men in Black guessing.

The Smurfs: my two autistic kids. When I forget my usual paranoia I refer to them by their real names, but luckily for everyone today, I'm at my usual trigger-happy, post-traumatic stress disorder frame of mind, and as such will refer to them as the Senior and Smaller Smurfs.

Weiner Boy: my most frequent libel victim, Weiner Boy is this Evil Overlord of Ontario, everyone's favourite poster boy Mr. McGuinty. Weiner Boy is mainly concerned with standing up under his own power and not drooling too much while his handlers train him to bark out lies like a poorly handled seal. I am at odds as to whether Weiner Boy is incredibly dishonest or just stupid, but I'm inclined to believe both, making him a perfect figurehead for the evil puppetmasters that rule our country.

The Circle of Evil: This is the shadowy organization which, through subterfuge and insinuation rule our world for their own, insidious purposes, and include such villians as the cable company, the phone company, most of the government, any expert the newspaper quotes opinons from, Buzz Hargrove, the Liberal Party, Quebec, lawyers in general, Bill Gates, and countless others. Generally they run everything but can be counted on to stymie each other with political backstabbing and power struggles, except when it comes to stamping on the common people of the world, which they all agree to on principle.

Fiddling Granny, Mr Gryper, the Guru, My Biggest Fan, et. al: These are listed in the sidebar over there -----> and comprise primarily blood relatives, extended family, and co-conspirators. Check out their blogs to get a more detailed lowdown on them.

The Men in Black and the Hydro Thugs: These are the evil minions of the Circle of Evil, and generally their multitudinous and ubiquitous organizations spend much of their time and government-funded budget harrassing me. I often enjoy returning the favour.
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If I think about anyone else I can edit this post so it's easy to refer to. In the meanwhile I should vacate my backup bunker as my sonar is picking up footsteps leading up the path, and the footsteps sound like black dress shoes.
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Fiddling Granny has brought it to my attention that I left out The Insane Ex and The Neighbour Lady. Alas, 'tis true; I have been without anything to rant on the subject of the Insane Ex for quite some time now as she is apparently under heavy sedation in a padded room somewhere, such that her blood-curdling howls for several of my internal organs goes unheard... Also, the Neighbour Lady, who is my current main squeeze and the Smurfs' favourite female role model... More on them both, no doubt, in another blog. Thanks, Granny!
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I'll rant about something more productive later,
The Obligatory Lexiphage.

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Thursday, October 11, 2007

Joe Voter & The Crack

Well apparently Joe Voter did not hear my plea and went to the polls while under the effects of some pharmaceuticals... I didn't hold out much hope for a conclusion that made any sense, and I got more or less what the lowest common denominator has taught me to expect.
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So, our close freind Dalton gets a blank check to treat Ontario as his personal oyster for the next four years because of religious paranoia- apparently, as far as Joe is concerned, every one of those 56,000 religious school students is learning nothing except Suicide Bombing and Destroying Democracy for Beginners. I'm sure most of the Jews in this province are just thrilled about that assessment.
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The smurfs are doing well lately- Gav has been at IBI for more than a month now and usually will tell me something about his day when I take him home. Today he told me, with much enthusiasm, that he'd had some chips. Wahoo! Other recent tidbits from the larger smurf include the following: 1) He doesn't like chicken, but he wants me to get it for him for supper. And he isn't crazy about having anything he does like with it, such as french fries or anything. 2) Gavin loves his couch (despite the fact that it has been the recepticle for several months of hidden food and spilled drinks, and is where the Men in Black put their nerve toxins when we are out. 3) He likes being at daycare when Mya isn't there so she doesn't hog all of the good stuff.
The smaller smurf has been equally enlightened lately, and regularly says new words such as "gum", "Don't want", or "Outside". She has been reading heavily, although I am not certain how much she actually understands...
The Insane Ex has been entirely under wraps for some time now, fortunately for me, although the smurfs mention her from time to time... it seems a sheme that she won't put any effort into seeing them, but, hey, that means more for me!
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My battle with Rogers still rages on, however, later this month I may have enough cash to buy off the right people and persuade them to re-establish my link to the world from within the lair. The Lair has got a mite dusty lately, and it's a shame that so many of my nefarious plans have to be done in full veiw of the Alliance of Evil's spy sattelites. Especially with them getting McGuinty hooked up again.
As an aside here, it occurs to me that this election is yet more evidence that the MK Ultra experiments from Quebec in the 70's were more or less successful, and that the ELF antenna in Alaska is busy contolling most of our minds under the Alliance of Evil's watchful and benevolent gaze... I figure that maybe one-on-one control is a little unrealistic but perhaps tilting 12 million brains 3% towards the McGuinty side of things or a slight increase in religious paranioa would be more than enough to keep all of us cattle in our place.
Well, I have to go now. There's a suspicious character in the library that keeps looking at me and writing in a notepad. Well, a more suspicious character than myself, anyway... I had better make my escape while the gettin' is good.
Until next time, keep one eye over your shoulder and the other straight up (and just try to walk like that)...
The Unserendipitous Lexiphage.

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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Fillins & Conspiracies

Hello everyone, at long last I have returned!
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Let's see: Last month on the Lair of the Lexiphage, Lex himself got a new computer, was waiting for a bribery check from his arch-nemesis McGuinty, and the global conspiracy for world domination was closing its ethereal fingers around our beleaguered planet right on schedule. Well, to pick up where we left off:
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My new computer seems to be functioning more-or-less the way I want it to; whilst it makes my old computer look, well, old in comparison, it still has junk Bill Gates crammed in there against all good sense and judgement. I regularly find crap that has to be removed such as trial versions of programs I don't want, links I can't get rid of to programs I don't need, and features absolutely neccessary to the usage of windows that were inexplicably left out when XP was "upgraded" to Vista. There are several obvious reasons Bill does this:
1) He doesn't like me, and wants me to know it.
2) He doesn't respect me as a consumer, and wants me to know it.
3) Having gained total control of the Operating System market despite the efforts of the courts, Bill is now systematically removing as much useful stuff as possible from Windows with each generation while increasing the computer power required, thus lowering the expectations of the consumer and thereby lowering his costs for the next insipid version he releases. Pretty soon he'll just get a cut from each computer sold despite the fact none of them will do a damn thing because of him. Then we'll have to start paying him just to take Windows off whenever we buy a computer.
4) Bill is part of the Evil Global Conspiracy, and as such is interested in bringing about the socioeconomic collapse neccessary for them to seize power. He and his cronies like McGuinty (who despite my assertions to the contrary cannot possibly be as stupid as he lets on- he is after all a vertebrate), Dubya, and evil organizations like the WTO, World Bank, the UN and the people who created the Care Bears (you just knew they were really evil in some way, didn't you?).
5) Bill doesn't have quite enough money, so until the socioeconomic collapse he has to get donations from advertising companies to buy bread, water, and the recreational drugs that give him these ideas.
6) Bill gets a kick out of stickin' it to us.
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McGuinty did send me my bribery check, $500 just as he agreed without my collusion... and as I mentioned last time it was just at an appropriate time to purchase my new machine. Since I know he is using it to spy on me, I've transplanted a lot of the junk he put in the hard drive for me to a computer at a drive thru coffee shop in Des Moines, and have my webcam hooked up with a telescope attachment in the air duct system of an apartment building in St, John's, pointed straight at the back door of a porno theatre. That should keep him busy. In the meanwhile I continuously feed my computer disinformation in the hopes that he'll send the Men in Black to annoy someone else for a change.
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My Internet will soon be unhooked temporarily, as I recently decided I don't want to pay in the Insane Ex's name any more... Rogers informed me the only way to get the account in my name without her speaking coherently with them for a few minutes is to just stop paying them 'till they shut her down. Then I can open up an entirely new account with them at my leisure. This, folks, is the TV and internet company I actually SELECTED, which tells you how high I value the competition.
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The smurfs are coming along nicely, although Gav has yet to actually learn anything at IBI- so far they just spend a couple of hours each month testing him for their evil government plans... No doubt they won't make a serious effort to deal with autism because they created it to mess with us as an experiment, similar to the syphilis experiments they did on unsuspecting minorities in the thirties.
Despite this Gav has been improving his talking on a regular basis, recently saying "Good Morning" to his sister and occassionally having short conversations with me about things that happen to him at school. Mya seems to be on a break with learning lately, and hasn't been talking much; however she is climbing down stairs more-or-less by herself and has been walking outside a lot, albeit not where I want her to.
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Well, I gotta go now- I have a new set of bear traps I have to leave around my garbage for the Hydro Thugs to find, and these decoy cameras don't set themselves up. Catcha later,
The Non-ablative Lexiphage.

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Smoke Signals & Carrier pigeons

Hey lexiphans!
Sorry for the long intermission, I was unavoidably detained when my ancient computer had a massive brain hemmorhage. Still, for a second-hand job (not to be confused with a second hand job) it did better than any other machine I've had- it lasted me 3 years or so, despite being a 3 year old contraption at the time of acquisition. It was a nice computer, made of the very finest flint and bearskin, and apparently was originally owned by some guy named Hammurabi. So, I was looking at other used machines for a little while, but noticed the margin between a new and used machine has narrowed considerably. On Friday I get a spot of moolah and will use this capital to purchase a NEW machine- something I have not had since the distant days when people could ask "what's a Pentium?".
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Just a little pat on my own back here- apparently McGuinty heard my recommendation to bribe me prior to the coming election and therefore decided to send parents of young children a "please elect me again, really I'm desperate" check for $250 per child. Note that in the finest Liberal tradition I have not actually got the check as yet, but it should arrive sometime between now and the looming election Mcguinty hasn't called and therefore isn't campaigning for on the taxpayer's tab. Speaking of which, it is interesting to note that one of the few promises McGuinty did not break was the inception of a law which prevents political parties from campaigning on the public budget... this stuff he's doing now, it's not really campaigning, it's keeping the public informed. Really!
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So I'm making this post once again on the faithful library computer, which thankfully was not commissioned by our able-minded premier, and hopefully on Friday I'll make another post on my shiny new machine, which in the finest tradition of science fiction writers should rise up against my control in a year or two. I figure this based on elementary Chaos science, which says all complex systems will behave in this way (if you don't believe me, watch my ex-wife cook sometime and see what happens with her creations), and also on general paranoia, which says McGuinty is somehow responsible for the death of my old computer, and sent me the 'please-elect-me' check as a means to plant his electronic agent within the Lair of the Lexiphage. The cad! At least it's cheaper than sending over the Men in Black twice a week to sift through my garbage and whack me with cattle prods...
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For those of you who are wondering about the Smurfs, they are doing well despite being out of school for the summer now... I still have them in daycare 3 times a week to keep the brain juices flowing, and Mya is talking pretty well these days (recent sentence reported from daycare: "Go Outside"... Gav has been doing well as well although he seems really bored lately... I think he needs a challenge, so I've been going over the alphabet with them and and am building a new version of my brainwave manipulator which hopefully will teach him all about my veiws on politics with electronic ease. May as well make the teachers obsolete whilst the rest of us are getting that way, eh?
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I guess that should be it... this is an insecure location without all of my usual electronic-warfare subterfuge, and the government and hydro thugs are already closing on my position. Until next time,
Ciao,
from the Quixotic Lexiphage.

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

McGuinty's Best Idea Ever

Hi everyone! Long time no type!
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So... everyone's favourite premier of Ontario, the Honourable Dalton McGuinty, has now done something that I wholeheartedly agree with. Looking back on his record and realizing he has to call an election in around October, McGuinty decided to DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING until the election. That's right, even Dalton has realized that everything he touches turns to... er... guacamole... and so he has decided that NOT running the government can't possibly be as bad as VITUALLY ANYTHING HE IS LIKELY TO DO. He has done this in the vain hope that maybe in four months the people of Ontario will FORGET everything from the past four years, most especially his cute health tax, which he still maintains was a good idea.
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The smurfs have been talking up a storm lately, and the main tasks for the summer will be:
1) Getting Mya to willingly walk longer distances than 1 block without stopping to pick flowers
2) Getting Gavin entirely toilet trained (he pretty much understands the mechanics but is avoiding the Big Leap)
3) Getting both of them to eat carrots in preparation for my big crop of carrots which should be due by the end of July.
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Speaking of my crop, I've been thinking post-apocalyptically lately (how unlike me) and have been noodling growing my own food in anticipation of the collapse of the socioeconomic machine and the inevitable spread of genetically and otherwise altered foods. Since carrots are amoung my favourites, they are the first ones I'm trying (I once attempted and screwed up tomatoes). Does anyone know how to harvest carrot seeds for the next year's crop? Those buggers are bloody near microscopic, and obviously if I have to rely on the socioeconomic machine to supply seeds, I'm screwed. Can you plant chunks of carrot like seeds? I hear some plants can grow from a chunk of root or whatever- perhaps that would be a good method...
Or maybe I'll have to start growing more self-sufficient stuff. Curses!
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Well, that's all for today.
Remember- shotgun shells, canned food, and a lead-lined basement are the best investments you'll ever make!
Let the good times roll,
The Magnanimous Lexiphage.

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Thursday, May 17, 2007

McGuinty Rides Again

Salutations, personages! You are once again in the presence of the Lexiphage!
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So, recently McGuinty and his cronies decided to fix the autism problem in Ontario once and for all by allocating $6 million to build a program which will offer ABA therapy to all Autistic kids in the public school system. While I have not yet found out how McGuinty is going to weasel the money back into his personal office budget or some other more deserving institution, I did notice Dalton's signature lack of math in the program.
First, it will be instituted across all school boards in Ontario; CTV reports that this includes 1400 principals, teachers, and educational assistants; further they will train 6 to 8 officials in every school board across Ontario to carry this out. Sooooo...... there has to be at least, say, 100 school boards in Ontario, which means they will need to train at least 2000 people. They will do this over the summer.
Second, they will use some of this funding to perform the actual ABA therapy to the autistic kids in the school system. This would include the 1300 or so waiting for IBI therapy, but also assumedly would cover the other autistic kids- around 15,000 more.
This adds up to around 18,000 people to either be trained or therapied... for $6 million, or around $333 per person. To put this in perspective, to get a bachelor's degree in Literature, one would have to spend around $50,000 and four years... To teach someone how to administer therapy to a disabled child- two months and $333 bucks.
At that price, it's a wonder that we have a shortage of child psychologists in this province. A freind of mine tried to get her kid a psychologist and got put on a waiting list for over six months... in that space of time why not just train a new therapist? I'm sure there are two or three people out there who would like to be earning $80 per hour after investing $333. They'd pay off their education in the first day!
Next month, McGuinty plans to solve world hunger with a large crate of Cheerios, and the month after that, will bring peace to the world with a single hearty handshake.
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I did the only sensible thing to get the smurfs their IBI therapy... I began the process before McGuinty came into power. To all you other parents of autistic kids out there, don't worry too much- once McGuinty is out of office the wait list will start running again in a halfway sane fashion- or at least, it will stop getting worse.
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In response to this wonderful gesture by the Liberal Government, I sent Weiner Boy a gift basket containing a grain of bath crystal, three grains of salt, some lint from my left sock, and a sliver of scented soap you could fit through the eye of a needle. No doubt with financial capabilities like his he'll keep his family clean and fresh for months on that.
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As an aside, I'd like to thank the Guru for his latest financial idea- investing in the Apocalypse seems like a great idea. What with my faith in mankind, it appears to be the safest investment I'll ever make!
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Lastly, on Canadian government in general, I'd just like to say onthat the Lexiphage fully endorses all decisions of our honourable leadership, and will continue to support everything they say. This has nothing to do with the sweeping powers Canada has recently decided to give to CSIS. Thank you for your time, citizens. Go about your business. We are taking care of everything.king idiots can't even figure that one out. I'm glad I got that last one off of my chest; now that it's out in the open they can't keep it a secret any more.
Whew! Thank goodness for free speech!
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Bye bye now,
The Catalytic Lexiphage.

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Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Ontario wins the lottery

Hi again, Lexiphans... I have startling news.
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I was reading the paper a few days ago and came upon something which has never happened before...

Dalton McGuinty had an idea which wasn't entirely stupid!!!

I know what you're thinking: "am I on the right web site?", and ordinarily, you would be corrwct in asking that. No I am not being coerced at gunpoint by Men in Black, nor am I being blackmailed, nor has Mr. McGuinty finally found my price and paid it (incidentally, Dalton, something in the five digit range will make me at least pretend to think you're not an idiot). No, it's this:
McGuinty has decided to start a "Solar Farm", a 400 hectare area jam-packed with solar panels, to supplement the grid. ( For Mr. Gryper and other non-metric types, a Hectare is a square 100 metres a side, about the size of my ego) istead of flicking the switch for the coal plants on and off, instead of pouring more money into nuclear plants which spend 30 years in renovations for every 38 seconds of successful operation, he's decided to fire up a small solar plant.
Don't get me wrong, there are problems with the specifics: the main one is that it is being built on farmland, and Ontario has some of the best farmland in the world already being wasted supporting condos instead of human life, and admittedly a power plant isn't an effective use of this when we've got about a zillion free hectares of hills and forest about 200 miles in any northerly direction. Secondly that Solar power isn't an especially powerful power source, although the fuel is free and there's few moving parts involved so it's easy to maintain once you fork out the dough to build it... But it seems to go against Liberal party policy to:
1) Decide to do something environmentally freindly
2) Decide to do something environmentally freindly which will actually solve another problem we've been having
3) Decide to do these things in a way that makes some level of sense
4) Allocate the money to a program that can actually spend it and
5) Decide that the construction and labour should not necessarily take place in Quebec.
The real trial, of course, will be to see if they actually take any steps towards implementing this good idea when they could be sending all the money to Zimbabwe to support Mugabe's reign of terror with a nice Hallmark which reads "Dear Evil Dictator, please spend this money on something which won't kill anybody, unless us making a demand like that upon you offends you in some way, in which case buy nukes and we're sorry. xoxoxo :)"
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Another breakthrough came yesterday, when trying to make Daughter Smurf walk around outside and she surprised me by walking down the block to the grocery store for a Danish, walking back, and climbing into the house and down the stairs by herself. This from a girl who two days ago refused to take even one step in pretty much the same circumstance, and who's mortally afraid of stairs. Cool, eh?
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Well, I gotta go and give money to the Hydro people again before they send their Hydro-thugs after me, not to mention every other multinational billionaire company who needs my money more than me. Until next time,
the Lackadaisical Lexiphage.

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