Sunday, January 21, 2007

A little Disclaimer

Just a notice to all my fans:
I've posted 45 times in the past 9 months, which works out to around once a week. Put that in your brazier and inhale it!
Ciao again,
The Axiomatic Lexiphage.

My old pal McGuinty

Hey folks, it's me again.
That was quick, eh?
I'm spoiling the lot of you; you don't deserve it.
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Enough of that rant, now onto another rant.
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My old buddy McGuinty is really at it again: two scintillating jewels of rational thought. First, he once again increased the IBI funding for autistic kids... Yay! He finally increased the number of 'spaces' available by 225 for the first time in his administration. Of course, during that time the wait list has ballooned by 1300% (I'm not making that figure up, it's real!). Don't worry too much though... He also finally increased the funding for educating IBI therapists this year. Of course, that means the new therapists won't be ready for a while, so luckily that money for the 225 new spaces goes right back into general revenues again, and will until the first crop of workers is trained. Let me rephrase:
Dalton McGuinty allocated new funding to autistic kids in such a way that he can easily steal it back legally to pay for resurfacing his pool table in mother of pearl and polished moon rock.
Also, McGuinty recently decided that smoking is illegal in all public venues, throwing hundreds of small businesses into turmoil, in order to protect employees at those locations; however he also decided that casino employees are worthless pricks not worth this consideration. After all, casinos are run by the government, so why should they follow all of the rules? As long as all of the small businessmen who refinance their house and drain their life savings to realize their dream of owning their own bar are mercilessly crushed into bankruptcy so McGuinty can continue to recklessly squander our tax money for his own twisted, personal amusement, where's the harm?
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Well, that was a short one but hopefully I'll be back in 20 minutes or so when McGuinty does something else stupid.
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Arefay Ellway,
The Peccadillous Lexiphage.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Implications of an Impending Year

Hiya everyone!
At long last I have returned to bring you enlightenment.
Well, it's a new year, and Mr. McGuinty is now enjoying his well-deserved pay raise during his 12 week vacation... Ahem...
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The Smurfs are progressing in leaps and bounds- Mya is now drawing and eating a small but growing variety of foods, and Gavin is talking up a storm. I took a bit of advice from Fiddling Granny and made some homemade muffins for them- without the spelt flour and seaweed she prefers but with milk, several kinds of fruit juice, peanut butter, shredded carrot, organic raw sugar, and a single chocolate chip each, and they seem to be a hit...
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The Neighbour Lady and I are doing well; she has finally realized that nothing I say or do should be relied upon as accurate and is comfortable with that... (except of course my blog, but that goes without saying). Her and I have been officially together since the beginning of September, and both of us are still alive! Not only is this its own benefit, I also have won twenty-eight bucks in two related betting pools!
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My pneumonia is officially gone, no thanks to the doctors, and I am breathing like a normal person again; naturally it is time for my athlete's foot to start burrowing tunnels into the callous on my tootsies and causing me considerable discomfort. Now the cold is here, my arthritis is acting up again... and I'm getting more of that phantom feeling from my peg leg- it stings like you wouldn't believe! My cholesterol has yet to be confirmed, what with the doctor's tiddlywinks tournament going on, but I've lost 10 pounds or so and feel pretty much like I did before, only lighter. A little operation on the alien parasite in my spinal fluid and I'll feel like a spry 68 year old.
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I'll post some pics soon from my shiny new digital camera, but I need to figure out how it works first... no matter how many times I hit it with a rolled up newspaper it refuses to fetch my slipper, so uploading data may be a few steps down the road.
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Well, that's all you get this week, folks.
Talk atcha soon, and may you always have lots to complain about.
Merry New Year from
Seminihilist Lexiphage.