A Cool Brain Thing

Hello, people. I've been meaning to show you a cool brain thing for some time, only I keep forgetting. Someone e-mailed it to me, and as weird as it is, it works... at least, it did for me...
All your brain needs to identify a word is the first and last letters in the right places, and the other letters to just be in there. The rest it just sort of ignores... thusly, to read the word "ignores" one can spell it "ingeors" and your brain can read it. It doesn't seem right when you just see one word, but check out this block of text:

Lsat Tuhsrady, I wnet out to a raurestnat to get smenthiog to eat. It was a cprapy rsteraaunt but a ptrety wtrsaies I konw wokrs three. I orrdeed a ham and ceeshe sndwcaih on wohle waeht wtih lcuttee and ttomao, and a dfrat beer. Tehn Doltan MGiycunt saw me hnviag a good tmie and had me soht. Waht a rip.

Weird, eh?
That was all I had to say today, just thought it was interesting.
Ciao,
The Stultified Lpxieahge.

McGuinty's Wisdom

Hello everyone! The Lexiphage has returned!
Hope you all missed me!
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Our freind McGuinty has been hard at work lately; for one, he has been applying his well-thought-out energy strategies to the towns of Port Colborne and Fort Erie, and is also hard at work on relations with the natives.
The two towns I mentioned were both hit with freak snowstorms recently, both getting around a foot (30 cm) of snow and losing the power grid. Naturally, McGuinty's plan to shut down the coal plants and fire up the nukes will cheer them up considerably when Pickering starts producing power again in 2021. Apparently he didn't learn his lesson from the blackouts we've been having for the last FIVE YEARS or so.
His Public Relations talents really came into the limelight, however, when some of the the Six Nations natives decided once again that a particular plot of land was theirs several hundred years ago (just like everywhere else in Canada, but who's counting?). The leaders of the Six Nations came to his goverment and ASKED THEM TO PUT A STOP TO IT. McGuinty, ever the altruist, listened politely to them, agreed that they protesters were not there legitimately, and then also agreed with the hooligans. Once again, McGuinty has angered the special interest group he was trying to placate, while angering everyone else too. Kind of reminds me of Bob Rae (who, incidentally is thinking of returning to politics under the Liberal banner, but that's another story)...
An analogy which occurs to me may illustrate how stupid this whole scenario is. Picture Muslim leaders coming to the Prime Minister's office to tip them off about a terrorist attack before it actually happens. Then the Prime Minister calls up the terrorists just to let them know he's okay with their plan, and they can blow up whatever they like. Then the PM tells the cops not to bother with the whole thing.
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I love Big Brother.
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Well, I'm getting tired of typing, so you all will have to tune in next time, when you'll hear Nurse Piggy say: "Doctor, it hurts whenever I do this!"
Ciao for now,
the Primogenitous Lexiphage.

Rabid Wolverines

Okay folks, I have several important things to fill you in on.
Item #1: The Rabid Wolverine (seeing as how that's the title, I'll start there)- The Neighbour Lady's younger Smurf comes in the other day crying 'cuz she sees what she figures is a skunk and she says it's dying down by the creek. Despite her mother's and my insistence that she stay the hell away from the wounded, smelly animal, she refuses so we decide to go down and check it out. It the creek behind my house is a creature scrabbling around the rocks with about 20 kids watching it. Apparently it had been trapped under a 5 or 6 pound rock, and was walking slowly and bobbing its' head around for food or something...
I've seen many skunks in my time, and folks, that was no skunk, unless it painted over its striping and gained about 15 or 20 pounds. It wasn't a badger, 'cuz it had a bushy tail like a big squirrel, but otherwise I would've thought that... I saw a drawing of a wolverine once, and as best as I could tell, that bloody thing matched. Well, if it had been under the rock the kids had pointed out, the only thing I could say was the rock was probably in trouble. I'm well aware that southern Ontario is not the normal habitat of the little monsters, so I had a little self-doubt, but I told everyone what I thought and tried to shoo away the kids, then went home and looked up wolverines on the internet to get a picture better than a half-remembered sketch. The pics I found looked like they were this thing's family photos.
Incidentally, the info that I got were that the wolverine normally lives in BC, the Yukon and places in that area, and that they are 'rare' further east than that. The weight class appeared about right- the stats said something like 20 to 45 pounds, and this sucker would've weighed around 25 pounds or so...
Anyway, none of the kids believed that something of that size could take your arm off so they continued to poke at it until someone called the OSPCA to come check it out. I don't know what happened, but I ain't going to look.
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The Neighbour Lady and I have been lurking together in the same holes in the ground lately, so apparently the Insane Ex has been replaced. The Neighbour Lady is only crazy in ways I like, and she has this strange habit of doing nice things for me instead of kicking me in the head, making this a rather unique relationship for me... I've been finding it harder to be as grumpy as I'm used to, so I'll have to step up the efforts to bring down McGuinty and his nefarious band of skulduggerous miscreants.
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Mya's eating habits continue to improve, as does Gavin's speech capabilities... I'm starting to teach him how to write, but I've got a long way to go as I can barely get him to make a mark on the chaulkboard.
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Well, I've annoyed you all for long enough for the moment... now I will retreat to my evil laundry room where I am preparing a towel for a diabolical political scheme.
Until a future date,
The Fulminant Lexiphage