Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Smoke Signals & Carrier pigeons

Hey lexiphans!
Sorry for the long intermission, I was unavoidably detained when my ancient computer had a massive brain hemmorhage. Still, for a second-hand job (not to be confused with a second hand job) it did better than any other machine I've had- it lasted me 3 years or so, despite being a 3 year old contraption at the time of acquisition. It was a nice computer, made of the very finest flint and bearskin, and apparently was originally owned by some guy named Hammurabi. So, I was looking at other used machines for a little while, but noticed the margin between a new and used machine has narrowed considerably. On Friday I get a spot of moolah and will use this capital to purchase a NEW machine- something I have not had since the distant days when people could ask "what's a Pentium?".
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Just a little pat on my own back here- apparently McGuinty heard my recommendation to bribe me prior to the coming election and therefore decided to send parents of young children a "please elect me again, really I'm desperate" check for $250 per child. Note that in the finest Liberal tradition I have not actually got the check as yet, but it should arrive sometime between now and the looming election Mcguinty hasn't called and therefore isn't campaigning for on the taxpayer's tab. Speaking of which, it is interesting to note that one of the few promises McGuinty did not break was the inception of a law which prevents political parties from campaigning on the public budget... this stuff he's doing now, it's not really campaigning, it's keeping the public informed. Really!
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So I'm making this post once again on the faithful library computer, which thankfully was not commissioned by our able-minded premier, and hopefully on Friday I'll make another post on my shiny new machine, which in the finest tradition of science fiction writers should rise up against my control in a year or two. I figure this based on elementary Chaos science, which says all complex systems will behave in this way (if you don't believe me, watch my ex-wife cook sometime and see what happens with her creations), and also on general paranoia, which says McGuinty is somehow responsible for the death of my old computer, and sent me the 'please-elect-me' check as a means to plant his electronic agent within the Lair of the Lexiphage. The cad! At least it's cheaper than sending over the Men in Black twice a week to sift through my garbage and whack me with cattle prods...
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For those of you who are wondering about the Smurfs, they are doing well despite being out of school for the summer now... I still have them in daycare 3 times a week to keep the brain juices flowing, and Mya is talking pretty well these days (recent sentence reported from daycare: "Go Outside"... Gav has been doing well as well although he seems really bored lately... I think he needs a challenge, so I've been going over the alphabet with them and and am building a new version of my brainwave manipulator which hopefully will teach him all about my veiws on politics with electronic ease. May as well make the teachers obsolete whilst the rest of us are getting that way, eh?
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I guess that should be it... this is an insecure location without all of my usual electronic-warfare subterfuge, and the government and hydro thugs are already closing on my position. Until next time,
Ciao,
from the Quixotic Lexiphage.

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