Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Multiphageous Smurf

Hello everyone... it is time once again for the Lexiphage! YAY!!!!!
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This week there is some nifty news... Mya, the youngest smurf in the Lexiphamily, has finally begun to eat a variety of solids. Now on the approved list are jellybeans, cupcakes, crackers (apparently- I haven't seen her eat crackers myself) and pizza. Mya treats everything solid in the same way, first licking off any sugar, glaze or icing before systematically breaking the target food into individual crumbs. Once properly sundered, she eats the crumbs one by one and licks any incidental remainders from her hands. She has also begun to tolerate many foods like Cheerios or pretzels, which she still won't eat but seems to be warming to.
It's about frickin' time!
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The Municipal elections are coming to Ontario, and so far it looks like the next mayor of my little hamlet will be an aging rich white male career politician, much to my surprise. As yet, i have not heard which of the candidates, if any, are bilingual... not that it actually matters, but experience has shown me that in order to do well in Canadian electoral politics one has to be an aging rich white male bilingual career politician from either Quebec or a part of Ontario that's within 50 miles of Quebec. This is why, no matter how well Steven Harper may do during his first term of office, whether he personally negotiates world peace, solves world hunger, eliminates the national debt and/or gives everybody in the world a big pile of cash, he will NEVER be re-elected. In the past three decades or so, every Prime Minister has fit my criteria except for Steven Harper and Joe Clark, who only lasted six months or so and both of whom had minority governments. (For those of you crying "What about Kim Campbell?" I remind you I said electoral politics, and as you may recall, Campbell was appointed by Mulroney just before he fled to the states to avoid the multitude of investigations, and was voted out at the first opportunity. Thusly, if ever I hope to rule our fair country I must single-handedly take it by brute force, or change my birth records, quit speaking English and learn French (Tabernac!).
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Little piece of information: A single pretzel has about 12 calories, weighs about 3 grams and has 1 gram of sodium and a half a gram each of carbohydrates and iron. If you eat a 1 pound bag of pretzels, you'll have eaten two and a half ounces of iron... so stay away from magnets.
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That is not precisely accurate, but it is fun, isn't it?
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Oh, well... I'm tired and irritable, so I'm going to go mail a letter to the provicial government suggesting a stupid policy change and forge 1,000 signatures, just to see if the Liberal party has any sudden policy changes.
Bye for now,
The Hagridden Lexiphage.

3 Comments:

Blogger SusanE said...

Funny, I "myself" was noting the other day how the federal liberals are again looking at a Quebec Liberal for leadership. Canada is funny we bicker between Quebec and the rest of us "ourselves" and yet we prefer french PMs

8:58 a.m.  
Blogger Jojo said...

It's not too late for you to register for the municipal council. Today is the last day to get your name on the ballot. Might as well get your feet wet.

1:56 p.m.  
Blogger Fiddling Granny said...

Yay ... ggod news about Mya, gastro-progress .. who knows today cupcakes, tomorrow, broccoli!

5:56 p.m.  

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