The Fall of the Fortress of Anger
Hello once again, and welcome to the Lair of the Lexiphage. I am your host, the Lexiphage, and tonight I will take you on a journey of self-discovery, exploration, and other crap that I won't bother to mention.
...
The big news this week is that apparently I am no longer angry; my anger management course at the so-called Fortress of Anger was a smashing success (actually, not that much smashing... er... hugging?... skipping??... errrrrrr... blogging??? oh, well; nothing else seems to work. Smashing it is). And as a result I am now apparently a fully functioning member of society once again.
As Mr. Gryper mentioned in his blog, I am still apparently capable of anger, but let's not mention that to the lawyers, judges, and pitchfork-bearing unruly peasants.
Now all that follows on that front is to confront the evil coalition of lawyers in the Fortress of Law and demand they reinstate my rights as an unwitting pawn of the government... I mean citizen. This will occur on Tuesday, if all goes according to plan, and soon I will be able to walk down the street carrying a collection of blood-encrusted hatchets, jagged-edged cleavers, peanut products, hate-crime leaflets, and signs which display seditious slogans like "TOO MUCH IMMIGRATION MIGHT BE A BAD THING", or "POLITICIANS WHO STEAL $400,000 OR MORE SHOULD MAYBE BE PUNISHED IN SOME WAY".
...
Yeah, I'll probably be arrested again pretty soon...
...
Gavin read his third word yesterday (at least aloud; I think he's read more than that to himself), bringing his collection to "Bob", "Christina", and "Toy". He mispronounced Christina, by pronouncing the "CH", but given that he's a four year old preschooler with autism, that should probably be forgiven...
...
The government has now officially accepted that my kids in fact reside with me in stead of with their Mom in the loonybin... now I am allowed to get the Baby Bonus and even am considered to have done my taxes and everything... I guess McGuinty got a new guy and hasn't explained all the rules to him yet... expect to me to recieve emmigration papers to Zaire and a traffic ticket for Mya in the mail soon.
...
My work on the submission of my writing to the various publishing houses continues in the research stage; my best bet appears to be a company which is based out of Alberta and therefore is beyond McGuinty's reach. In response to my various internet, library, and phone activities (which are reported to certain authorities daily) I now recieve several threatening e-mails each day. I am, however, not discouraged, and will continue to spew out libel as fast as I can type until I disappear in the night. TRY AND STOP ME, YOU BASTARDS!!
...
Well, that about wraps that up. I have to go update my security system and top up my payoff money to the people who are supposed to find me and bring me in. Until next time, stick it to the Man!
Ciao,
The Iconoclastic Lexiphage
...
The big news this week is that apparently I am no longer angry; my anger management course at the so-called Fortress of Anger was a smashing success (actually, not that much smashing... er... hugging?... skipping??... errrrrrr... blogging??? oh, well; nothing else seems to work. Smashing it is). And as a result I am now apparently a fully functioning member of society once again.
As Mr. Gryper mentioned in his blog, I am still apparently capable of anger, but let's not mention that to the lawyers, judges, and pitchfork-bearing unruly peasants.
Now all that follows on that front is to confront the evil coalition of lawyers in the Fortress of Law and demand they reinstate my rights as an unwitting pawn of the government... I mean citizen. This will occur on Tuesday, if all goes according to plan, and soon I will be able to walk down the street carrying a collection of blood-encrusted hatchets, jagged-edged cleavers, peanut products, hate-crime leaflets, and signs which display seditious slogans like "TOO MUCH IMMIGRATION MIGHT BE A BAD THING", or "POLITICIANS WHO STEAL $400,000 OR MORE SHOULD MAYBE BE PUNISHED IN SOME WAY".
...
Yeah, I'll probably be arrested again pretty soon...
...
Gavin read his third word yesterday (at least aloud; I think he's read more than that to himself), bringing his collection to "Bob", "Christina", and "Toy". He mispronounced Christina, by pronouncing the "CH", but given that he's a four year old preschooler with autism, that should probably be forgiven...
...
The government has now officially accepted that my kids in fact reside with me in stead of with their Mom in the loonybin... now I am allowed to get the Baby Bonus and even am considered to have done my taxes and everything... I guess McGuinty got a new guy and hasn't explained all the rules to him yet... expect to me to recieve emmigration papers to Zaire and a traffic ticket for Mya in the mail soon.
...
My work on the submission of my writing to the various publishing houses continues in the research stage; my best bet appears to be a company which is based out of Alberta and therefore is beyond McGuinty's reach. In response to my various internet, library, and phone activities (which are reported to certain authorities daily) I now recieve several threatening e-mails each day. I am, however, not discouraged, and will continue to spew out libel as fast as I can type until I disappear in the night. TRY AND STOP ME, YOU BASTARDS!!
...
Well, that about wraps that up. I have to go update my security system and top up my payoff money to the people who are supposed to find me and bring me in. Until next time, stick it to the Man!
Ciao,
The Iconoclastic Lexiphage
posted by The Lexiphage at 7:25 p.m.
4 Comments:
So glad that you are no longer angry, you must feel so relieved.
So glad that you are no longer angry, you must feel so relieved.
I repeat myself. Sorry, Blogger has offered me a BETA version. My google log-on is the preferred method of logging on.
Somewhere their system has developed a dislike for all my login information and it tells me I can't log on and then it does it in secret. Hence the two posts.
Lets try this again.
(ok tried once, won't take me)
I, too, am glad you're no longer angry ... I'm back in the land of the blog. I'm doing more than just taking a quick peek and running off without comment.
What did you do with your free Thursday? Did you go to Wood-a-bridge just for fun?
Post a Comment
<< Home