It's been a long time, not a good time
Hello Folks, once again the Lexiphage has returned!!!
Many things have happened in the past 5 days, so I'll try to remember everything.
I returned to the Fortress of Anger for Anger Management; the cabbies must have read my rants because one "5-10 minutes" was actually 5-10 minutes, and the other was only 23 minutes, so I was happier than a raccoon in a closed restaurant.
Incidentally, in case you're wondering, my anger is much improved, and now I love everybody, and am happy all the time; my anger management classmates spend our time in group hugs and dancing in flowery feilds.
Gavin and Mya are doing well; Mya has been going through one of her "I won't eat anything" phases, and therefore has been living on liquids. These usually end when I find a way to trick her into taking a spoonful of something and she remembers she likes the taste of food, so I've been pulling all the stops out in my feindish and convoluted neurons, but no luck so far.
Gavin has been whining a lot lately, I'm not sure why, but it's been driving me nuts. He'd much rather cry and wail than simply ask for a drink or something. I know it's difficult for him to talk, but he'd better shape up or I'll have to hire a proffessional caner again. On the up side, he's doing really well with learning his letters; he keeps a Thomas the Tank-Engine alphabet book hidden in his bed and pulls it out as I leave each night, so I only catch glimpses, but I'm sure he's reading it.
My biggest fan mentioned something in her last comment about the unreadability of my blog, so I'm now including larger type for all the old folks. I can hardly be critical, though... over the last few years I've noticed myself tilting books away from my eyes while I read and have realized I soon will need bifocals to go with my hearing aids and walker. If any of you young whippersnappers give me too much lip about it I'll throw my false teeth at you.
Mr. McGuinty has sent me a few more items of hate mail, altering my tax information for the forth time this year, re-issuing the census form I filled out last month, and he personally saw to it my junk mail increased by another 30 percent. I can't prove it's him, but if it wasn't it's only because he couldn't figure out how to do it and got an aide to do it for him. That's okay, Mr. M... I've got your number too...
...
Well, that's enough writing for now; I have a boil that needs lancing and a pencil that I just freshly sharpened for the job. Until next time, remain vigilant and paranoid, so I know I'm not the only one they're after.
Farewell for now,
The Insidious Lexiphage
Many things have happened in the past 5 days, so I'll try to remember everything.
I returned to the Fortress of Anger for Anger Management; the cabbies must have read my rants because one "5-10 minutes" was actually 5-10 minutes, and the other was only 23 minutes, so I was happier than a raccoon in a closed restaurant.
Incidentally, in case you're wondering, my anger is much improved, and now I love everybody, and am happy all the time; my anger management classmates spend our time in group hugs and dancing in flowery feilds.
Gavin and Mya are doing well; Mya has been going through one of her "I won't eat anything" phases, and therefore has been living on liquids. These usually end when I find a way to trick her into taking a spoonful of something and she remembers she likes the taste of food, so I've been pulling all the stops out in my feindish and convoluted neurons, but no luck so far.
Gavin has been whining a lot lately, I'm not sure why, but it's been driving me nuts. He'd much rather cry and wail than simply ask for a drink or something. I know it's difficult for him to talk, but he'd better shape up or I'll have to hire a proffessional caner again. On the up side, he's doing really well with learning his letters; he keeps a Thomas the Tank-Engine alphabet book hidden in his bed and pulls it out as I leave each night, so I only catch glimpses, but I'm sure he's reading it.
My biggest fan mentioned something in her last comment about the unreadability of my blog, so I'm now including larger type for all the old folks. I can hardly be critical, though... over the last few years I've noticed myself tilting books away from my eyes while I read and have realized I soon will need bifocals to go with my hearing aids and walker. If any of you young whippersnappers give me too much lip about it I'll throw my false teeth at you.
Mr. McGuinty has sent me a few more items of hate mail, altering my tax information for the forth time this year, re-issuing the census form I filled out last month, and he personally saw to it my junk mail increased by another 30 percent. I can't prove it's him, but if it wasn't it's only because he couldn't figure out how to do it and got an aide to do it for him. That's okay, Mr. M... I've got your number too...
...
Well, that's enough writing for now; I have a boil that needs lancing and a pencil that I just freshly sharpened for the job. Until next time, remain vigilant and paranoid, so I know I'm not the only one they're after.
Farewell for now,
The Insidious Lexiphage
posted by The Lexiphage at 8:37 p.m.
2 Comments:
Ah the larger font is greatly appreciated. My new bifocals are due on Wednesday (hopefully).
I used to tell my kids that I didn't understand the "Whine language" and that they had to speak to me or I couldn't understand. It didn't work totally well, works much better with my students, they don't know the buttons that my kids could push really well.
I'm shuddering from the boil lancing plans ..... what do you mean re-issued your census?? Did they not believe you or something?
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