Canada Day...er... whatever
Wuz up, dogs? The Lexiphage is back in the Hood.
Everyone have a good Canada Day (or, in the case of those from the previous generation, Dominion Day)?
...
Unfortunately, I did not get a chance to set anything belonging to Squinty McGuinty on fire; as a consolation project I sent him a package of something I found in the back of my fridge I couldn't identify. I didn't put a return address on it, but I think he knows where it came from.
...
So, I ran into my politician aunt... ooh, sorry... my aunt who maintains an interest in politics, and touched on my political veiwpoints with her. Apparently she has been stonewalled out of all the appropriate country-club dinners, golf course shenanigans, money funnelling, and CIA connections because she doesn't belong to one of the Big Three parties; I have a difficult time believing the Marajuana Party, the Communist Party, or the Christian Heritage Party are involved in the all-encompassing Circle of Evil that currently rules the world. The Green Party has recently been elevated to this coveted status, and therefore they are trying to be extra evil now to make up for the time they've missed. If they get Official Party Status, the can hook into the HRDC computer system that no longer exists but which monitors our every move, like Steven Harper is doing now to gather info on our election preferences (so he says). He hasn't been caught doing anything abysmally stupid yet, so there is a theoretical possibility he's not part of the Circle of Evil either, but if he isn't they'll be using every mind-control technique they learned when the CIA did their research in Quebec in the 1960's to convert him.
...
I and my brood of miscreants spent much of the holiday lurking around the Main Street, Newmarket festivities, where it is a fine tradition for the storeowners therein to really put a foot forward to wandangle our cash from us on the pretense of a festival of some sort. It was a load of fun; we ate lots of junk (well, Gavin and I did- Mya still avoids solids and had to make to with her chocolate milk) and I spent a lot of time with the neighbour lady (one of Gavin and Mya's babysitters) and her kids. It was nice to know that if anyone was tailing me they'd have had a hard time keeping up with the crowds.
...
The Two Grannies and Grandma are still off in the extreme Eastern Wilderness getting boozed up with people of Irish descent (that, to me, spells trouble) and scouting for whales and iceburgs and so on; when they return no doubt they'l have hoards of stories for us, some of which may be true.
Anyhoo, I think I've given the Big Brother computer enough information to sift through; now I shall take my leave of you and concentrate on messing up my kids' minds instead.
Shade and Sweet Water to you all,
The Munificent Lexiphage.
Everyone have a good Canada Day (or, in the case of those from the previous generation, Dominion Day)?
...
Unfortunately, I did not get a chance to set anything belonging to Squinty McGuinty on fire; as a consolation project I sent him a package of something I found in the back of my fridge I couldn't identify. I didn't put a return address on it, but I think he knows where it came from.
...
So, I ran into my politician aunt... ooh, sorry... my aunt who maintains an interest in politics, and touched on my political veiwpoints with her. Apparently she has been stonewalled out of all the appropriate country-club dinners, golf course shenanigans, money funnelling, and CIA connections because she doesn't belong to one of the Big Three parties; I have a difficult time believing the Marajuana Party, the Communist Party, or the Christian Heritage Party are involved in the all-encompassing Circle of Evil that currently rules the world. The Green Party has recently been elevated to this coveted status, and therefore they are trying to be extra evil now to make up for the time they've missed. If they get Official Party Status, the can hook into the HRDC computer system that no longer exists but which monitors our every move, like Steven Harper is doing now to gather info on our election preferences (so he says). He hasn't been caught doing anything abysmally stupid yet, so there is a theoretical possibility he's not part of the Circle of Evil either, but if he isn't they'll be using every mind-control technique they learned when the CIA did their research in Quebec in the 1960's to convert him.
...
I and my brood of miscreants spent much of the holiday lurking around the Main Street, Newmarket festivities, where it is a fine tradition for the storeowners therein to really put a foot forward to wandangle our cash from us on the pretense of a festival of some sort. It was a load of fun; we ate lots of junk (well, Gavin and I did- Mya still avoids solids and had to make to with her chocolate milk) and I spent a lot of time with the neighbour lady (one of Gavin and Mya's babysitters) and her kids. It was nice to know that if anyone was tailing me they'd have had a hard time keeping up with the crowds.
...
The Two Grannies and Grandma are still off in the extreme Eastern Wilderness getting boozed up with people of Irish descent (that, to me, spells trouble) and scouting for whales and iceburgs and so on; when they return no doubt they'l have hoards of stories for us, some of which may be true.
Anyhoo, I think I've given the Big Brother computer enough information to sift through; now I shall take my leave of you and concentrate on messing up my kids' minds instead.
Shade and Sweet Water to you all,
The Munificent Lexiphage.
posted by The Lexiphage at 7:27 a.m.
2 Comments:
your font is difficult to read, the red on black makes the small size font a problem for older folks. I always have to magnify the view so I can read it.
Not to worry, going to the eye doctor for my bifocals next week.
Grandma has the same complaint ... glad I'm not getting old!
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