Crawling towards payday
Salutations Lexikateers!
Were we all good this weekend? No?
Good for you! Or is it bad for you?... oh well...
...
Finally after what seems a millenium of waiting, today is the day before payday. My hands are shaking with trepidation and I'm hoping all those silly rules about "jinxing" things are only as real as honesty in politics. My printer is out of ink and my mouse is getting so cantankerous it's reminding me of Mr. Gryper in an uncooperative mood. My wardrobe, and that of my offspring, is in desperate need of resupply, and the fridge is completely free of alcohol. During such a time of desolation, I sometimes nearly lose hope, until I remember the words of Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, who said... something... er... well, it was a good one, anyway. You know the one I mean. Something about a teacup and a frog. Anyway, tomorrow I will be dining on expensive things like simulated balogna, bully beef, no-name corn flakes, and the expensive kind of hard-tack, and drinking all the tapwater I want; and there will be much rejoicing.
...YAY!!!...
I had a good weekend, where my beloved gaggle of short people were removed from my presence not once but twice; they got to see their mother, which apparently they enjoy, and now that my wife isn't with me I actually heard people other than myself wish me a happy Father's Day.
...
I walked all over hell's half acre this morning, having the worst bus luck I can remember having, narrowly missing three busses I think and giving up on one when my bus tranfer expired while waiting. It's a rare occassion that the busses get me where I want to go faster than if I just walked, especially during summer, but I never seem to learn...
I also made another record today; this is the longest string of consecutive days I've had since 1992 that no one has asked me for money. Even my ex-wife has given up asking, which is pretty remarkable. This of course, does not include telemarketers, who are nearly as unstoppable as gravity, taxes, or the ignorance of the masses. I'm of the opinion that the various utility companies must now be sharing my confidential information in order to expedite removing my financial posessions from me more efficiently. Perhaps they're getting their information from that huge computer system the HRDC says they don't have any more, and never used even when they did have it anyways so we should just all trust them and shut up. Not that the government ever shares that information either, because that would be illegal, and if our government started doing illegal things, there would be chaos, right? Whew!
...
I have a sudden urge to go buy a golf course in Quebec and write the bill of sale on a paper napkin in pencil.
...
Oh, well, enough ranting for today. Well, online anyway. You know I'm going to go hang with my son and discuss the inherent flaws of democracy with him while he watches Ice Age for the 30th time today. Then I think I'll have a nice meal of spelt flour right out of the bag. That's good eatin'!
...
Have a nice life (or nice lives, I guess...),
The Vitriolic Lexiphage.
Were we all good this weekend? No?
Good for you! Or is it bad for you?... oh well...
...
Finally after what seems a millenium of waiting, today is the day before payday. My hands are shaking with trepidation and I'm hoping all those silly rules about "jinxing" things are only as real as honesty in politics. My printer is out of ink and my mouse is getting so cantankerous it's reminding me of Mr. Gryper in an uncooperative mood. My wardrobe, and that of my offspring, is in desperate need of resupply, and the fridge is completely free of alcohol. During such a time of desolation, I sometimes nearly lose hope, until I remember the words of Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, who said... something... er... well, it was a good one, anyway. You know the one I mean. Something about a teacup and a frog. Anyway, tomorrow I will be dining on expensive things like simulated balogna, bully beef, no-name corn flakes, and the expensive kind of hard-tack, and drinking all the tapwater I want; and there will be much rejoicing.
...YAY!!!...
I had a good weekend, where my beloved gaggle of short people were removed from my presence not once but twice; they got to see their mother, which apparently they enjoy, and now that my wife isn't with me I actually heard people other than myself wish me a happy Father's Day.
...
I walked all over hell's half acre this morning, having the worst bus luck I can remember having, narrowly missing three busses I think and giving up on one when my bus tranfer expired while waiting. It's a rare occassion that the busses get me where I want to go faster than if I just walked, especially during summer, but I never seem to learn...
I also made another record today; this is the longest string of consecutive days I've had since 1992 that no one has asked me for money. Even my ex-wife has given up asking, which is pretty remarkable. This of course, does not include telemarketers, who are nearly as unstoppable as gravity, taxes, or the ignorance of the masses. I'm of the opinion that the various utility companies must now be sharing my confidential information in order to expedite removing my financial posessions from me more efficiently. Perhaps they're getting their information from that huge computer system the HRDC says they don't have any more, and never used even when they did have it anyways so we should just all trust them and shut up. Not that the government ever shares that information either, because that would be illegal, and if our government started doing illegal things, there would be chaos, right? Whew!
...
I have a sudden urge to go buy a golf course in Quebec and write the bill of sale on a paper napkin in pencil.
...
Oh, well, enough ranting for today. Well, online anyway. You know I'm going to go hang with my son and discuss the inherent flaws of democracy with him while he watches Ice Age for the 30th time today. Then I think I'll have a nice meal of spelt flour right out of the bag. That's good eatin'!
...
Have a nice life (or nice lives, I guess...),
The Vitriolic Lexiphage.
posted by The Lexiphage at 3:08 p.m.
3 Comments:
So the suspense is killing me ... the "longest string of consecutive days I've had since 1992 that no one has asked me for money" would be how many?
I'm dieing to hear about the meal of spelt flour.
The meal of spelt flour was a tad dry, and the longest string of days I mentioned was 5.
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