All hail the wise Doctorologists & Lawyerese
Greetings, fellow earthlings, it is I the Lexiphage.
Many apologies for not posting these past many days; I had a few chores to do which resembled the Twelve Labours of Hercules.
Now I am past Hump Day, I feel I can breathe easy for a few microseconds and recount the interesting events of the last few days.
First, the big news. I went down to Markham-Stouffville hospital today and Gavin & Mya now have their complete diagnosis: Gavin has classic Autism, and Mya apparently has the same as well as a Global Developmental Delay. They said little about the severity or whatever, so the actual information I gleaned personally was scant, however now that the diagnosis is official I can mail copies to all of the government people whose job it is to tell me why I don't qualify for anything and tell them they are out of a job.
Mya is now the age she needs to be to attend Gavin's preschool program, and the only thing which stands in my way is actually talking to whoever is in charge of my funding to get the go-ahead. So she should be in class early next century. I went to court on Tuesday to be berated in Criminal Court; apparently the Crown does not need to provide proof in this case as I agreed (in theory) to go to this stupid anger management thing they want me to take... (ANGER MANAGEMENT? WHAT KIND OF #%!@*!^ IDIOT WOULD THINK I NEED #%!@*!^ ANGER MANAGEMENT ???)
Anyhoo, apparently I needed to have a contract signed in blood to qualify for the Crown's generous deal, but instead of allowing me to back out the judge said I'd better get one or she'll throw me upside down into the Turkish prison toilet they keep around for occasions like this.
After a short stay in the stockade where I gratefully recieved sixty lashes (not my actual punishment, just to keep me honest) I had a little chit-chat with my lawyer and on the up side he thinks he can sort out the paper I need my absentee ex-wife to sign. Without the testimony of the drooling maniac, my word & the word of OHIP. my old doctor, the hospital & so on, that Mya exists she apparently no longer does & therefore can't get a birth certificate or new health card. (I may have found a loophole in the health card thingy).
Well, that covers the major issues; the details (it's all in the details) will have to wait for another blog while I regenerate the tissue on my bloody, raw typing fingers.
So long for now,
the Ptyalismic Lexiphage
Many apologies for not posting these past many days; I had a few chores to do which resembled the Twelve Labours of Hercules.
Now I am past Hump Day, I feel I can breathe easy for a few microseconds and recount the interesting events of the last few days.
First, the big news. I went down to Markham-Stouffville hospital today and Gavin & Mya now have their complete diagnosis: Gavin has classic Autism, and Mya apparently has the same as well as a Global Developmental Delay. They said little about the severity or whatever, so the actual information I gleaned personally was scant, however now that the diagnosis is official I can mail copies to all of the government people whose job it is to tell me why I don't qualify for anything and tell them they are out of a job.
Mya is now the age she needs to be to attend Gavin's preschool program, and the only thing which stands in my way is actually talking to whoever is in charge of my funding to get the go-ahead. So she should be in class early next century. I went to court on Tuesday to be berated in Criminal Court; apparently the Crown does not need to provide proof in this case as I agreed (in theory) to go to this stupid anger management thing they want me to take... (ANGER MANAGEMENT? WHAT KIND OF #%!@*!^ IDIOT WOULD THINK I NEED #%!@*!^ ANGER MANAGEMENT ???)
Anyhoo, apparently I needed to have a contract signed in blood to qualify for the Crown's generous deal, but instead of allowing me to back out the judge said I'd better get one or she'll throw me upside down into the Turkish prison toilet they keep around for occasions like this.
After a short stay in the stockade where I gratefully recieved sixty lashes (not my actual punishment, just to keep me honest) I had a little chit-chat with my lawyer and on the up side he thinks he can sort out the paper I need my absentee ex-wife to sign. Without the testimony of the drooling maniac, my word & the word of OHIP. my old doctor, the hospital & so on, that Mya exists she apparently no longer does & therefore can't get a birth certificate or new health card. (I may have found a loophole in the health card thingy).
Well, that covers the major issues; the details (it's all in the details) will have to wait for another blog while I regenerate the tissue on my bloody, raw typing fingers.
So long for now,
the Ptyalismic Lexiphage
posted by The Lexiphage at 5:42 p.m.
3 Comments:
Oh Lexiphage, would you know what to do if you had a nice quiet day? Probably not...
Unbelievable ... it makes no sense that you can't get a birth certificate for Mya. What next. How do you keep your cool?
And what is Ptyalismic? That one I couldn't find in the dictionary.
Look on the upside. No birth certificate, no social insurance number, a lifetime of tax free living.
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