Crazy People
Hiya, & welcome.
I'll just dive right in here.
So last night my foaming-at-the-mouth ex-wife escaped from lockdown in the mental hospital for the second time in a month. This time instead of scamming a cabbie apparently her and a fellow escapee ripped off someone's car.
Showing that her love for me endures, she immediately called to ask for money.
I told her a good first step would be to call someone who has money (I assumed she wouldn't want to drive up here for the family fortune of $2.97). The cops, in their usual fashion (sorry to the cop, ex-cop & cop-related people in the family) called me up to chat at 1:15 a.m, and were nice enough to give me some info, you know, in case I woke up with a couple of mental patients standing over me giggling and holding my steak knives. How thoughtful. If I go missing over the next couple of days, I leave $10 to the police foundation...
Otherwise things are peachy. Had a good weekend, where I recieved 30% fewer death threats than average. I'm hoping to survive long enough to make sure those nice people at the Hydro company get their money before I end up being roasted on a spit and served with instant mashed potatoes and Kool-aid to a bunch of hungry lunatics. The Hydro company deserves that, especially seeing as how they are always so fiscally responsible.
Hope to write again soon, assuming I still have my fingers attached by then.
Ciao!
-The Paranoid Lexiphage.
I'll just dive right in here.
So last night my foaming-at-the-mouth ex-wife escaped from lockdown in the mental hospital for the second time in a month. This time instead of scamming a cabbie apparently her and a fellow escapee ripped off someone's car.
Showing that her love for me endures, she immediately called to ask for money.
I told her a good first step would be to call someone who has money (I assumed she wouldn't want to drive up here for the family fortune of $2.97). The cops, in their usual fashion (sorry to the cop, ex-cop & cop-related people in the family) called me up to chat at 1:15 a.m, and were nice enough to give me some info, you know, in case I woke up with a couple of mental patients standing over me giggling and holding my steak knives. How thoughtful. If I go missing over the next couple of days, I leave $10 to the police foundation...
Otherwise things are peachy. Had a good weekend, where I recieved 30% fewer death threats than average. I'm hoping to survive long enough to make sure those nice people at the Hydro company get their money before I end up being roasted on a spit and served with instant mashed potatoes and Kool-aid to a bunch of hungry lunatics. The Hydro company deserves that, especially seeing as how they are always so fiscally responsible.
Hope to write again soon, assuming I still have my fingers attached by then.
Ciao!
-The Paranoid Lexiphage.
posted by The Lexiphage at 5:41 a.m.
3 Comments:
NO! NO! NO! She's entirely lost it!!
Tell me you are kidding.....aren't you?
Have you heard from her? Keep your doors and windows locked.
You may be having a less than pleasant time these days, but your writing skills are brilliant. Are you still working on your novel? I'll read it.
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