Tha Heat
ACK!!! Gasp! HOT!!!!
Too... hot... to... type... erg...
...
Must... entertain... readers... aaugh (sound of head falling onto keyboard) yhjc,klbds mvsfdsl,
...
I think I'm okay now... I have my head packed in a plastic bag of ice cubes. I'll be good until I run out of air.
So, this week both the rugrats were sick; I explored the joys of projectile vomit jettisonned liberally over the couch and the various methods to deal with the smell... I was overjoyed at the experience, and lemme tell ya, it just adds to the warm feeling the smurfs give me. Both of the smurfs have also battled fevers and general malaise repeatedly, and thusly are in really sociable moods with almost no shrieking in rage at everything around them for five or six minutes at a time.
...
Speaking of warm, I looked out of the window today and saw my sidewalk burst into flames. Noticing the molten texture of the driveway, and the forest out back burning down, I opted to stay indoors as much as possible. Mya actually went willingly into a bath (for splash puposes only, of course... it took about a half an hour for her to warm up to the idea, despite the temperature) and hopefully her gigantic heat rash will fade a little as a result... Tomorrow I have to go out, one way or another, and walk around on what appears to be the surface of our sun; I'll have to bring a gallon or two of water and a tube of SPF 1500 in order to guarantee my survival.
I take comfort in the fact that Premier Dalton McGuinty, having been trumpeting the one-tonne-challenge instead of fixing a power plant or two, will no doubt be suffering along with me with his air conditioning shut right off in good faith. Our poor parliamentary representatives, trudging to work on foot to avoid polluting with limosine exhaust, having to lug a bag lunch with them to cut down on waste (not to mention the loose cash from their office budgets- that must weigh a tonne), all while wearing a sweltering three-piece suit (which we, as taxpayers, will no doubt have to replace due to the sweat damage). Mr. McGuinty, keep the faith, man!
...
Well, I'm almost out of air, so I think I'll pass out now.
Talk atcha later, (gasp!)
The Asphyxiated Lexiphage.
Too... hot... to... type... erg...
...
Must... entertain... readers... aaugh (sound of head falling onto keyboard) yhjc,klbds mvsfdsl,
...
I think I'm okay now... I have my head packed in a plastic bag of ice cubes. I'll be good until I run out of air.
So, this week both the rugrats were sick; I explored the joys of projectile vomit jettisonned liberally over the couch and the various methods to deal with the smell... I was overjoyed at the experience, and lemme tell ya, it just adds to the warm feeling the smurfs give me. Both of the smurfs have also battled fevers and general malaise repeatedly, and thusly are in really sociable moods with almost no shrieking in rage at everything around them for five or six minutes at a time.
...
Speaking of warm, I looked out of the window today and saw my sidewalk burst into flames. Noticing the molten texture of the driveway, and the forest out back burning down, I opted to stay indoors as much as possible. Mya actually went willingly into a bath (for splash puposes only, of course... it took about a half an hour for her to warm up to the idea, despite the temperature) and hopefully her gigantic heat rash will fade a little as a result... Tomorrow I have to go out, one way or another, and walk around on what appears to be the surface of our sun; I'll have to bring a gallon or two of water and a tube of SPF 1500 in order to guarantee my survival.
I take comfort in the fact that Premier Dalton McGuinty, having been trumpeting the one-tonne-challenge instead of fixing a power plant or two, will no doubt be suffering along with me with his air conditioning shut right off in good faith. Our poor parliamentary representatives, trudging to work on foot to avoid polluting with limosine exhaust, having to lug a bag lunch with them to cut down on waste (not to mention the loose cash from their office budgets- that must weigh a tonne), all while wearing a sweltering three-piece suit (which we, as taxpayers, will no doubt have to replace due to the sweat damage). Mr. McGuinty, keep the faith, man!
...
Well, I'm almost out of air, so I think I'll pass out now.
Talk atcha later, (gasp!)
The Asphyxiated Lexiphage.
posted by The Lexiphage at 5:07 p.m.
2 Comments:
Hey ... that's cool that Mya will willingly go into the bath "for splashing purposes" .... what progress!
Don't worry Lexiphage, the heat is almost coming to an end. Funny when we think 27 feels nice. I do look forward to the fall.
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