The Attack of the Smurfs
Salutations, gentlebeings.
...
You know, I like fan mail, but am I really that entertaining?
Well, of course I am. Poor folks, going for so long without Lexiphageness... how do you survive?
...
Okay, so the Smurfs have been going to an increased school curriculum recently, having started on Monday (in case the Men in Black are messing with my posting time today, that's three days ago). Gavin, the Senior Smurf, has been going to Junior Kindergarten in the afternoons and Daycare in the mornings and Mya has been going to daycare for a massive 5 1/2 hours a day. Gavin's speech is already showing improvement, so it won't be long now 'till we can discuss politics. Mya is talking pretty regularly now, mostly words like "hi" and "Dad" and "expostulatory". She sings occasionally so I'm trying to teach her "Anarchy in the UK" and "Smoking in the Boys' Room". Also of note, the Junior Smurkf has at long last started to eat solids, and rather enjoys a good cupcake or (although I haven't seen this personnally yet) a cracker. I have to start warning her about the danger of racial slurs.
...
So I went up to Fiddling Granny's house on the weekend with Mr and Mrs Gryper and the Smurfs, and we had a riot discussing the merits of shuffleboard versus Bingo. The Zookeeper and her male escort swung by (the Zookeeper's offspring were avoiding me apparently) after only a few short hours of directional confusion, and they joined in the conversation and wine might have been mentioned. Of course, being, fine, upstanding citizens without a trace of irresponsibility we avoided openiong more than sixteen bottles between us over lunch. The Zookeeper liked her first experience with this beverage so much, she suggested we might enjoy making it competatively for four hours or so next year. She then went on to suggest we should get together for a corn roast, get shittered and hurl over her fence.
Gosh, my cockles got warm there.
...
Well, I have to go now and put the smurfs in their classes for the day. Also, I have to put more feeding solution in the fish tank I have in my lab; my clone is nearing maturity and has quite the appetite. I figure if I can be in two places at once McGuinty will get even more confused, and let's face it, I won't be happy until he's sucking his thumb in the fetal position.
So until next time, I hope you're all happy, feeding my ego like that.
Aloha,
The Megalomaniacal Lexiphage.
...
You know, I like fan mail, but am I really that entertaining?
Well, of course I am. Poor folks, going for so long without Lexiphageness... how do you survive?
...
Okay, so the Smurfs have been going to an increased school curriculum recently, having started on Monday (in case the Men in Black are messing with my posting time today, that's three days ago). Gavin, the Senior Smurf, has been going to Junior Kindergarten in the afternoons and Daycare in the mornings and Mya has been going to daycare for a massive 5 1/2 hours a day. Gavin's speech is already showing improvement, so it won't be long now 'till we can discuss politics. Mya is talking pretty regularly now, mostly words like "hi" and "Dad" and "expostulatory". She sings occasionally so I'm trying to teach her "Anarchy in the UK" and "Smoking in the Boys' Room". Also of note, the Junior Smurkf has at long last started to eat solids, and rather enjoys a good cupcake or (although I haven't seen this personnally yet) a cracker. I have to start warning her about the danger of racial slurs.
...
So I went up to Fiddling Granny's house on the weekend with Mr and Mrs Gryper and the Smurfs, and we had a riot discussing the merits of shuffleboard versus Bingo. The Zookeeper and her male escort swung by (the Zookeeper's offspring were avoiding me apparently) after only a few short hours of directional confusion, and they joined in the conversation and wine might have been mentioned. Of course, being, fine, upstanding citizens without a trace of irresponsibility we avoided openiong more than sixteen bottles between us over lunch. The Zookeeper liked her first experience with this beverage so much, she suggested we might enjoy making it competatively for four hours or so next year. She then went on to suggest we should get together for a corn roast, get shittered and hurl over her fence.
Gosh, my cockles got warm there.
...
Well, I have to go now and put the smurfs in their classes for the day. Also, I have to put more feeding solution in the fish tank I have in my lab; my clone is nearing maturity and has quite the appetite. I figure if I can be in two places at once McGuinty will get even more confused, and let's face it, I won't be happy until he's sucking his thumb in the fetal position.
So until next time, I hope you're all happy, feeding my ego like that.
Aloha,
The Megalomaniacal Lexiphage.
posted by The Lexiphage at 7:31 a.m.
2 Comments:
Ahhhh ... finally a fix for the addicted masses from the Lexiphage....
Glad to hear Junior Smurf has finally started to enjoy the finer culinary pleasures in life.
Oh Lexiphage....it's not hurl over the fence. It's blowing chunks....Don't worry you can give it a try on the 30th.
Post a Comment
<< Home