Wrestling the Image of the Beast

Hiya folks.
Well, I finally got this thing working again. Apparently I need to turn my computer upside down and expose its soft underbelly every time I go on here now; for some reason my computer changed its mind and decided Blogspot was dangerous... I don't know how it was convinced of this but still suspect McGuinty's more intelligent handlers.
...
Speaking of McGuinty, it has finally become apparent where he stashes all of that money he gets when he rips off autistic kids and retired old ladies and such. The number of people in the Ontario government who make $100,000 or more is just shy of 34,000 people. This is, of course, not including their penion plans, which on average, we pay four times what they do to create and which also average in the neighbourhood of $100,000 (I think I read $84,000, but don't quote me on that). Assuming the other three quarters of a million people whom our provincial government employs make the national average salary (this is $39,000. They make more than this but I don't have an exact figure) that adds up to about $30-$40 billion. The government is fond of saying that in order to get the best people, we have to pay these exorbitant rates. I don't know about you, but looking at the McGuinty government's record, I don't think we're getting the best people. I think perhaps if we were to randomly select a crack addict from the streets of Toronto to replace each of these 34,000 people, then we could pay them minimum wage and hardly do worse. This would amount to around $2.5 billion saved in wages alone. If we hired some crack addict lab monkeys we probably would have a decent shot too.
...
The Lexiphage's idea on how to save the health care system: Maybe if we stopped remodelling hospitals every year and instead spent that money on training and hiring doctors and nurses, maybe we could cure some sick people or something. No insult to the construction profession, but I don't really trust a bricklayer to diagnose my MRI. Not that they build hospitals out of bricks any more; they have to be all made of curved glass walls framed in mother-of-pearl and moon rock, and the rare non-glass walls have to support lots of archways, bridges, indoor trees, fountains, and automated crawling cages with robotic feeding systems to house the cloned albino leopards inside, and feed them beluga caviar and fresh spring water imported from an iceburg on the north pole of Mars. I hear next year at our local hospital they're removing all of the floors and ceilings to replace them with Liquid Crystal Display televisions that play commercials for how great the hospital is getting 24 hours a day.
...
Not that there's anything wrong with our health care system. They just need to get rid of all the pesky sick people and then it would work fine.
...
The smurfs are doing okay lately; Mya is talking and singing a little, but last night she stayed up the ENTIRE night either hollering or banging. I was pleased with this. Really. Gavin is having short conversations with me on a regular basis, and the other day said "Want to go to Tim Horton's" fairly clearly. He's always tired though, both because of school pushing him hard and because Mya keeps him up nights.
...
Well, that's all for now. I have to go as I've been hired by the government to perform a study on whether people like being beaten with a stick or not. It has a budget of $187,000 and needs to be completed by 2010 so that McGuinty can throw it in his shredder and use the remains to set his trash can on fire and light a $66,000 cigar he got imported from a guy who hand rolls them in Tibet with special gloves made from live pygmy marmosets.
Until next time,
The Misanthropic Lexiphage.